You Call That an Apology?

Setting the record straight about KDL

In the final days of this election, the Los Angeles Times has apparently deemed itself the arbiter of apologies, judging who should apologize and when, and objectively declaring, with little scrutiny, who has apologized. Maybe they should spend some time considering what constitutes an apology – because they’ve certainly gotten it wrong in their coverage of the race between disgraced Councilmember Kevin de León and tenants attorney/grassroots organizer Ysabel Jurado.

The Times keeps repeating that KDL has apologized. Let’s examine that claim:

An apology is more than simply saying “I’m sorry” and moving on. It is easy to find a variety of sources online that explain the elements of an apology. They are all pretty similar. I’ll use the alliterative list provided by John Kador, author of “Effective Apology.” Kador says that there are “five Rs of apology:  recognition, responsibility, remorse, restitution, and repetition.” By that standard, has KDL genuinely apologized for his role on the Fed Tapes? Hell no.

KDL fails on the very first test, recognition. He doesn’t acknowledge what he did. He most frequently says his transgression was failing to speak up and stop the ugly and racist conversation. He is counting on people to forget the details of what was said. In reality, he advanced and provoked the conversation, and pushed it toward some of its ugliest moments.

What about the second test, responsibility? Not even close. In a lawsuit he filed over the tapes, KDL was at peak unrepentance, saying through his lawyer that he “never made any comment that was even remotely offensive.” Apparently, everyone got it all wrong. We owe him an apology. (I sure hope Biden finds time to make his apology before he leaves office.)

How about remorse? Not so much.  KDL has said his comments were misunderstood and twisted by the press. He said reporters have failed to provide context and that his insults were more “nuanced” than had been reported. (The context is this: two other people were insulting a child, and he piled on, laughing.)

Restitution? Nope. In an apparent attempt to move past the scandal, he has used his position to honor African-American and Oaxacans – but is it restitution when he does so with taxpayer funds? and always with a bank of cameras around?.  It has felt a lot more like an effort to rehabilitate his reputation than to make any sort of restitution.

KDL seems intent on exploiting people he insulted, not apologizing to them. Case in point: on the tapes, he slurred an adoptive family, and many other adoptive families took it as a slur against them, too. This year, he used council chambers to honor an adoption agency and adoptive families. Was there an acknowledgement of what he had done?  Of course, not. Nothing but a photo opp for his political rehab.

Then there’s Kador’s final element, repetition. It is important to make sure you do not repeat the behavior. It is an epic fail for KDL here. His offenses on the tapes were multiple. Among other things, he expressed ugly anti-Black sentiment, fanned the flames of racial divisions, attacked and tried to undermine progressives and renters, and dragged a child into a political fight.

He has continued to do all of those things:

• KDL claims he has apologized and made amends to the Black community, but there are few signs of that, and his disrespect for the Black Lives Matter movement is chilling. He insults and disparages them, and has embraced his supporters who angrily chant “All Lives Matter” and “go home” in the faces of BLM members silently protesting KDL.

• On the tapes, he conspired against progressives and talked about putting Nithya Raman’s district “in the blender” to weaken progressive power. Has he changed his tune since? No. His campaign appearances regularly attack the council’s progressive bloc, especially Eunisses Hernandez and Hugo Soto-Martinez. This morning, he launched a broadside against Hernandez, parroting right-wing criticisms of her leadership.

• How’s he doing with support for renters? Well, in this campaign, he took money from: John Schaefer, a millionaire slumlord whose tenants had to endure rats, cockroaches, and sewage; Mike Barry, a wealthy property owner who illegally converted low-income housing for working families into a swanky tourist hotel:Shaoul Levy, a rightwing slumlord whose apartments have been flooded with feces, had busted plumbing, abusive managers, mold and months with no heat.

• How is his record on not making political fodder of opponent’s children anymore?  Pretty vile, to be honest. His campaign supporters recently followed Jurado’s teenage daughter at the mall. Confronted with this at a debate, KDL did not denounce the behavior, he just ignored it. And then he followed it up by sending out a campaign mailer, identifying where her daughter goes to school, and posting a photo of the school.

Here’s the reality: In the past two years, KDL has spent much more time responding to what he said on those tapes than he has serving his constituents. But he has not been apologizing for what he said and did. He has been defending it and doubling down on it.

Mike Bonin is a teacher, activist, writer and podcaster. He served on the Los Angeles City Council from 2013-2022, during which served for two years with Kevin de León. On the Fed Tapes, De León slurred Bonin’s young son.